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  • Schuylkill River Mermaid Tank Top

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    • The Schuylkill River isn't the cleanest, but it gets the job done and has a lot of character - just like the legendary mermaid that swims up and down its current and who is routinely spotted near Boat House Row. She may not win any prizes for her outward appearance, but she sure does have a great personality.

      This tank top pays tribute to the Schuylkill's resident mermaid who proves there's more to being magical than just looks.

      1. Designed by real Philadelphians after a few rounds of Yuengling to inspire creativity
      2. 100% airlume combed and ringspun cotton for a fabric so soft we challenge you not to hold it against your cheek whilst saying, “ooooohhhh… aaahhhhhhh…”
      3. Show off the guns in this sleeveless relaxed unisex fit that you’ll never want to take off
      4. Definitely not made in a sweatshop, but we are looking into ways we can force the children of Cowboys fans into cheap labor
    • We print all of our designs using only the highest quality inks and finest threads in the game so that your tank top is both eye-popping and long-lasting. Here's how to keep that jawn looking like new for as long as possible:

      1. Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)
      2. Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
      3. Tumble dry: medium
      4. Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
      5. Do not dryclean
      6. Do not attempt to eat, snort, or use as a suppository

    Customer Reviews

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    T
    Tricia
    The Ultimate Brother in Law Gift

    I can’t wait to see my brother in law rocking this hilarious tank top all summer long - mostly just to make me laugh!