"Joe Carter Ruined My Childhood" Tee

Size Guide
  • October 23, 1993. That was the day Joe Carter made my twelve-year-old-self cry uncontrollably for hours on end by dashing the World Series title hopes of one of my all-time favorite Phillies teams with a game winning 3-run homer off of Wild Thing Mitch Williams. From that moment on I stopped believing in Santa Claus, traded my Little League glove in for a paper route, and realized what a cold, cruel world it is in which we live.

    Phuck Joe Carter for stealing my innocence and ruining the childhood of an entire generation of young Phillies fans born in the early 80s.

    See more jawns like this in our Philly Baseball Collection.

    *This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it may take us up to 1-2 weeks to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions and for supporting small businesses.

  • Say hello to your new favorite t-shirt: the Bella Canvas 3001. Once you put this sucker on, you're gonna be like a fat kid at the pool 'cause you'll just never wanna take it off. This best-selling unisex tee is everything you've dreamed of and more - soft, lightweight, just the right amount of stretch, and flattering for all. So comfortable that I've told my family to bury me in one of these jawns once rooting for the Sixers eventually kills me.

    1. Designed by real Philadelphians after a few rounds of Yuengling to inspire creativity
    2. 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (heathers are a cotton / poly blend) for a pre-shrunk fabric so soft and lightweight we challenge you not to hold it against your cheek whilst saying, “ooooohhhh… aaahhhhhhh…”
    3. Unisex, retail fit that feels just like a hug from Mike Schmidt's mustache
    4. Classic crewneck style because v-necks are more of a douchey NYC / L.A. thing
    5. Printed with certified, eco-friendly ink (unlike our competitors whose inks are loaded with pesticides, asbestos, and plutonium).
    6. Phillygoat branded logo on left sleeve so you know it's not a cheap knock-off
    7. Definitely not made in a sweatshop, but we are looking into ways we can force the children of Cowboys fans into cheap labor
  • We print all of our designs using only the highest quality inks and finest threads in the game so that your shirt is both eye-popping and long-lasting. Follow these instructions carefully to keep that jawn looking like new for as long as possible:

    1. Machine wash cold, inside-out on a gentle cycle with like colors
    2. Use a mild detergent
    3. Use non-chlorine bleach only when necessary
    4. Do not use any fabric softeners
    5. Do not dry-clean
    6. Hang-dry works best to avoid shrinkage, but can be tumble-dried on a low cycle as needed
    7. If ironing, use cool iron inside-out. Do not iron the print.
    8. Do not attempt to eat, snort, or use as a suppository
Black Heather
Heather Midnight Navy
Heather True Royal
Athletic Heather
Heather Dust

Customer Reviews

Based on 11 reviews
Darren Kline
Love the shirts

We’ll fitting tee, I’m 5’9 185 and the large works for me

Amazing shirt. Sadly, so true

Bought this for my sister, who threw herself onto her bed crying and declared, "I hate Mitch Williams with all my heart" when she was 12. Can't wait to give this to her on her 43rd birthday next month and see if it dredges up all the memories she has worked to suppress. My parents can't wait to see her face!

Michael Weil

The shirt looks fantastic and feels great, but doesn't fit great. It's almost as if it were made for someone with very narrow shoulders.

William Jeppe
Great shirt, BAD memories

Joe Carter did in fact ruin my 13th birthday back in Oct. 1993, so this is a perfect shirt. Love the fit and material. Super soft

Kevin Kramer
"I hate Joe Carter" and you should too.

This shirt got a lot of laughs at The Phillies games I’ve worn this to. Everyone who saw the shirt give the classic Philly high five to me and says that Joe Carter ruined their lives too. Can’t wait to wear this up to Toronto for a game next year as well.