Artisinally crafted using Mike Schmidt's mustache hairs | 30-Day Free Returns | Satisfaction Guaranteed (*Except Cowboys Fans)

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  • Philly Wooder Park Womens Tank Top

    • Who needs fancy water slides, log flumes, and lazy rivers when you have a perfectly good fire hydrant outside your front door just waiting to be opened. Break out the speedo & swimmies and invite the neighbors because there ain't no better way to beat the heat than splashing around in a Philly wooder park.

      1. Designed by real Philadelphians after a few rounds of Yuengling to inspire creativity
      2. 60% combed ringspun cotton, 40% polyester for a fabric blend so soft and lightweight we challenge you not to hold it against your cheek whilst saying, “ooooohhhh… aaahhhhhhh…”
      3. This slim fit racerback cut hugs you in all the right places, and is sure to turn heads & drop jaws
      4. Runs a bit smaller than usual, so get the next size up if you've been going hard on the crab fries recently
      5. Definitely not made in a sweatshop, but we are looking into ways we can force the children of Cowboys fans into cheap labor
    • We print all of our designs using only the highest quality inks and finest threads in the game so that your shirt is both eye-popping and long-lasting. Here's how to keep that jawn looking like new for as long as possible:

      1. Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
      2. Do not bleach
      3. Tumble dry: low heat
      4. Do not iron
      5. Do not dryclean
      6. Do not attempt to eat, snort, or use as a suppository
    Color
    Solid Black
    Solid Midnight Navy
    Solid White
    Size

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