Artisinally crafted using Mike Schmidt's mustache hairs | 30-Day Free Returns | Satisfaction Guaranteed (*Except Cowboys Fans)

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  • "No Shower Happy Hour" Unisex Tank Top

    • Why shower after the beach when you could just head straight to the bar? Inspired by the summertime day drinking debauchery found at The O.D. in Sea Isle City, NJ, this tank top pairs well with sand on your feet and a beer in your hand.

      1. Designed by real Philadelphians after a few rounds of Yuengling to inspire creativity
      2. 100% airlume combed and ringspun cotton for a fabric so soft we challenge you not to hold it against your cheek whilst saying, “ooooohhhh… aaahhhhhhh…”
      3. Show off the guns in this sleeveless relaxed unisex fit that you’ll never want to take off
      4. Definitely not made in a sweatshop, but we are looking into ways we can force the children of Cowboys fans into cheap labor
    • We print all of our designs using only the highest quality inks and finest threads in the game so that your tank top is both eye-popping and long-lasting. Here's how to keep that jawn looking like new for as long as possible:

      1. Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)
      2. Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
      3. Tumble dry: medium
      4. Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
      5. Do not dryclean
      6. Do not attempt to eat, snort, or use as a suppository
    Color
    Black
    True Royal
    Asphalt
    Athletic Heather
    Oatmeal Triblend
    White
    Size

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