"Schuylkill River Mermaid" Tee

Size Guide
  • The Schuylkill River isn't the cleanest, but it gets the job done and has a lot of character - just like the legendary mermaid that swims up and down its current and who is routinely spotted near Boat House Row. She may not win any prizes for her outward appearance, but she sure does have a great personality.

    This t-shirt pays tribute to the Schuylkill's resident mermaid who proves there's more to being magical than just looks.

    *This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it may take us up to 1-2 weeks to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions and for supporting small businesses.

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  • Say hello to your new favorite t-shirt: the Bella Canvas 3001. Once you put this sucker on, you're gonna be like a fat kid at the pool 'cause you'll just never wanna take it off. This best-selling unisex tee is everything you've dreamed of and more - soft, lightweight, just the right amount of stretch, and flattering for all. So comfortable that I've told my family to bury me in one of these jawns once rooting for the Sixers eventually kills me.

    1. Designed by real Philadelphians after a few rounds of Yuengling to inspire creativity
    2. 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (heathers are a cotton / poly blend) for a pre-shrunk fabric so soft and lightweight we challenge you not to hold it against your cheek whilst saying, “ooooohhhh… aaahhhhhhh…”
    3. Unisex, retail fit that feels just like a hug from Mike Schmidt's mustache
    4. Classic crewneck style because v-necks are more of a douchey NYC / L.A. thing
    5. Printed with certified, eco-friendly ink (unlike our competitors whose inks are loaded with pesticides, asbestos, and plutonium).
    6. Phillygoat branded logo on left sleeve so you know it's not a cheap knock-off
    7. Definitely not made in a sweatshop, but we are looking into ways we can force the children of Cowboys fans into cheap labor
  • We print all of our designs using only the highest quality inks and finest threads in the game so that your shirt is both eye-popping and long-lasting. Follow these instructions carefully to keep that jawn looking like new for as long as possible:

    1. Machine wash cold, inside-out on a gentle cycle with like colors
    2. Use a mild detergent
    3. Use non-chlorine bleach only when necessary
    4. Do not use any fabric softeners
    5. Do not dry-clean
    6. Hang-dry works best to avoid shrinkage, but can be tumble-dried on a low cycle as needed
    7. If ironing, use cool iron inside-out. Do not iron the print.
    8. Do not attempt to eat, snort, or use as a suppository
Color
Black Heather
Brown
Red
Heather Midnight Navy
Heather Forest
Dark Grey Heather
Heather True Royal
Leaf
Heather Blue
Athletic Heather
Heather Dust
Heather Mint
White
Size

Customer Reviews

Based on 55 reviews
95%
(52)
4%
(2)
2%
(1)
0%
(0)
0%
(0)
R
Ryan Southard

"Schuylkill River Mermaid" Tee

Z
Ziya Iannetta

"Schuylkill River Mermaid" Tee

E
Edward Reich
Great shirt

This is a funny shirt, great quality and get alot of laughs when people see it

S
Susan Beres
I laughed and laughed

Got this for my Philly brother-in-law, he loved it. The Schuylkill is a special place. 🧜🏻‍♀️

K
Karen T Shrom
Awesome shirt!

I love the t-shirt, and I get tons of compliments and laughter.
Excellent quality, and I’ll definitely buy more from Phillygoat.