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"Pat Burrell Is My Biological Father" Tee
$32
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Pat Burrell played in Philadelphia from 2000 to 2008 and was legendary for rounding the bases on and off the field (wink, wink...). Ladies really dug Pat's long ball and Clooney-esque features, so if you were born in Philly during the early aughts and have a square jaw line, there is a pretty decent chance that Pat the Bat is your biological father.
See more jawns like this in our Philly Baseball Collection.
*This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it may take us up to 1-2 weeks to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions and for supporting small businesses.
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Say hello to your new favorite t-shirt: the Bella Canvas 3001. Once you put this sucker on, you're gonna be like a fat kid at the pool 'cause you'll just never wanna take it off. This best-selling unisex tee is everything you've dreamed of and more - soft, lightweight, just the right amount of stretch, and flattering for all. So comfortable that I've told my family to bury me in one of these jawns once rooting for the Sixers eventually kills me.
- Designed by real Philadelphians after a few rounds of Yuengling to inspire creativity
- 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (heathers are a cotton / poly blend) for a pre-shrunk fabric so soft and lightweight we challenge you not to hold it against your cheek whilst saying, “ooooohhhh… aaahhhhhhh…”
- Unisex, retail fit that feels just like a hug from Mike Schmidt's mustache
- Classic crewneck style because v-necks are more of a douchey NYC / L.A. thing
- Printed with certified, eco-friendly ink (unlike our competitors whose inks are loaded with pesticides, asbestos, and plutonium).
- Phillygoat branded logo on left sleeve so you know it's not a cheap knock-off
- Definitely not made in a sweatshop, but we are looking into ways we can force the children of Cowboys fans into cheap labor
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We print all of our designs using only the highest quality inks and finest threads in the game so that your shirt is both eye-popping and long-lasting. Follow these instructions carefully to keep that jawn looking like new for as long as possible:
- Machine wash cold, inside-out on a gentle cycle with like colors
- Use a mild detergent
- Use non-chlorine bleach only when necessary
- Do not use any fabric softeners
- Do not dry-clean
- Hang-dry works best to avoid shrinkage, but can be tumble-dried on a low cycle as needed
- If ironing, use cool iron inside-out. Do not iron the print.
- Do not attempt to eat, snort, or use as a suppository