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"Schuylkill River Mermaid" Coffee | Bitchin' Blonde Roast | THüNDER MüD™ Collab
$22.99 - $89.99
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⚠️ WARNING: May cause unsolicited compliments from other Philadelphia sports fans. Do not wear if you don't like being high-five. 🙌
Established in 2020, we've proudly served over 100,000 satisfied customers from the Greater Philadelphia area and beyond, and we've earned close to 10,000 5-star reviews. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
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Why settle for a basic blonde roast when you can have a downright bitchin’ one instead??
The Schuylkill River Mermaid Bitchin' Blonde Roast is a Philly-born blonde that's smooth, slightly nutty, and packs more punch than a Rocky Balboa southpaw hook to the dome.
Our mermaid? She’s no mythical beauty from Seattle — she’s a stubbly, beer-bellied sea-hag from the 2-1-5 with a rowdy E-A-G-L-E-S chant as her siren song. Think of her as the Starbucks mermaid if she took a hard left into North Philly and fell on hard times.
This sweet and mellow blend comes loaded with even more caffeine than a dark roast due to the shorter roasting time, making it perfect for mornings when you need a swift kick in the pants to get yourself going.
So sip bold, laugh loud, and embrace the grit. After all, life’s too short for pretentious coffee (or perfect mermaids).
*This is a collab with THüNDER MüD™, the most badass coffee roastery in the world. THüNDER MüD™ always sources the highest quality coffee beans on the planet and roasts them the same day they ship out to you, ensuring that you're getting the absolute freshest coffee that money can buy.
⚡DRINK LOUD COFFEE.⚡