Collections
"Pat Burrell Is My Biological Father" Baby Onesie
$28
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Pat the Bat played in Philadelphia from 2000 to 2008 and was legendary for rounding the bases on and off the field (wink, wink...). Ladies really dug Pat's long ball and Clooney-esque features, so if your kid was born in Philly and has a square jaw line, there is a pretty decent chance that Pat the Bat is their biological father.
See more jawns like this in our Onesies Collection.
*This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it may take us up to 1-2 weeks to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions and for supporting small businesses.
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This onesie's gonna make you the envy of all the other less cool parents at the playground because that’s what this is all about, right?
- Designed by real Philadelphians after a few rounds of Yuengling to inspire creativity
- 100% combed ringspun cotton (heather colors are cotton / poly blend) for a fabric as soft as your baby’s bottom
- All of our designs are printed with eco-friendly, bio-degradable and non-toxic inks to ensure the health and safety of your newborn (unlike all of our competitors who use lead, asbestos, and plutonium in their prints)
- Definitely not made in a sweatshop, but we are looking into ways we can force the children of Cowboys fans into cheap labor
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We print all of our designs using only the highest quality non-toxic inks and finest threads in the game so that your baby's onesie is both eye-popping and long-lasting. Follow these instructions carefully to keep that jawn looking like new for as long as possible:
- Machine wash cold, inside-out on a gentle cycle with like colors
- Use a mild detergent
- Use non-chlorine bleach only when necessary
- Do not use any fabric softeners
- Do not dry-clean
- Hang-dry works best to avoid shrinkage, but can be tumble-dried on a low cycle as needed
- If ironing, use cool iron inside-out. Do not iron the print.
- Do not attempt to eat, snort, or use as a suppository