Philly Snake Tattoo Baby Onesie

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  • Every one has a story about the one who got away. Here is mine:

    It was the late '90s, before I was 21, and I was able to get into Keenan's Irish Pub in North Wildwood, NJ with the help of an older friend's ID. There was a woman at the bar who was well into her fifties, and she was wearing a Darren Daulton jersey coupled with jean shorts. She had teased mall hair and was crushing Rolling Rocks. The thing I remember most though was the large tattoo on her calf of a venomous snake coiled around a heart with the word "Philly" on top. Her name was Denise, and she bought me a boilermaker.

    This design is a tribute to Denise, the one in the Dutch jersey and jean shorts with the big badass snake tattoo, and who I still carry in my heart. And now you can carry her close to your baby's heart, too, with this badass onesie.

    Denise, if you're out there and if you happen to see this - call me. I know you're probably like 80 now, and that tattoo has some sag to it, but I am confident we can pick up right where we left off and make it work.

    See more jawns like this in our Baby Onesies Collections.

    1. This onesie will make you the envy of all the other less cool parents at the playground because that’s what this is all about, right?
    2. Designed by real Philadelphians after a few rounds of Yuengling to inspire creativity
    3. 100% combed ringspun cotton (heather colors are cotton / poly blend) for a fabric as soft as your baby’s bottom
    4. All of our designs are printed with eco-friendly, bio-degradable and non-toxic inks to ensure the health and safety of your newborn (unlike all of our competitors who use lead, asbestos, and plutonium in their prints)
    5. Definitely not made in a sweatshop, but we are looking into ways we can force the children of Cowboys fans into cheap labor
  • We print all of our designs using only the highest quality non-toxic inks and finest threads in the game so that your baby's onesie is both eye-popping and long-lasting. Here's how to keep that jawn looking like new for as long as possible:

    1. Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
    2. Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
    3. Tumble dry: low heat
    4. Do not iron
    5. Do not dryclean
    6. Do not attempt to eat, snort, or use as a suppository
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